


Slight changes

by orphan_account



Series: The Long Road [8]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Exploration, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-09
Updated: 2011-09-09
Packaged: 2017-10-23 14:18:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/251259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	Slight changes

Surprisingly, it didn’t seem to change very much in their life, apart from emotionally. There was a warm glow in the pit of the stomach that hadn’t been there before and the loneliness had disappeared. Sometimes, they’d share a quick glance that spoke of their closeness which gave them both a lot of pleasure.

 

James was still struggling with his faith and the decision to go any further physically but that didn’t seem to be a problem. Robbie was happy to have an “other half” again and despite the fact that they didn’t spend evenings together all the time, and that the extent of their togetherness was eating and watching TV sometimes, it was enough.

 

That first night, when James had fed them and they’d kissed, Robbie had spent the night in James’ bed, just lying in each other’s arms, becoming accustomed to the feel and smell of the other, overcoming the remaining mental barriers to being naked against another man without shame.

James curled up against the older man and laid his arm and leg across Robbie as if terrified he would run away. Robbie put his arm under James’ head and for a split second it reminded him of lying with his wife, but he pushed that thought away with a mental apology to Val. This was different although he couldn’t say how.

James was more vulnerable than Val had ever been, even as a young woman and Robbie was achingly aware of the hurt that had been done to him as a child, if he didn’t know exactly how. The hurt had been physical and psychological and Robbie was treading on eggs all the time to be sure that he didn’t cross some unmarked boundary. James was a minefield that Robbie wanted to cross but had no map.

Lying in Robbie’s arms, James felt more secure than he ever had in his life, although it brought back very bad memories which he had to consciously squash at first. No, this is Robbie and he is kind and good and I want to be with him because I love him. He is older, yes, and he is a father but he will not hurt me. I know he won’t hurt me. I trust him.

Robbie felt James tense up and rubbed his shoulder “Shhhh, it’s OK, lad. I’m just going to lie here. You do whatever you feel is right. Just don’t surprise me too much, OK?”

They both giggled at that – they were complete novices and it was funny. James ran a hand over Robbie’s chest again and kissed below his ear very gently

“It’s OK. I was frightened but I’m OK now. I’m sorry.”

“No – don’t be sorry. You’re not to blame. The bastard that …”

“No – Robbie, don’t, please. It’s just you and me. Nobody else; no past; no memories; just us here and now. Please?”

He sounded so distressed that Robbie turned his head to kiss him gently on the lips. He manoeuvred his hand to catch the back of James’ head and thought – oh what the hell, we’re naked together in bed, I might as well …

Robbie held his lover’s head firmly against his own and opened his mouth a little. James responded, so Robbie gently licked his lips, passing his tongue between James’ and hearing the sigh that it produced. No panic, no enormous passion but a quiet exploration of each other’s lips. Deep sighs, breathing each other’s breath, skin against skin on the face making slightly sweaty contact.

 

They didn’t do anything else that night – kissing and laying together was enough, although James cried out in his sleep, causing Robbie to worry that being with him was unearthing bad memories. The next day Robbie went back to his own place to get ready for work very early so that they could arrive separately.

James got up in a dream. He drifted to the bathroom on a cloud of happiness such as he had never experienced before in his life. He’d just spent the night with the man of his dreams and yes, it didn’t matter that for the moment he wasn’t sure if he wanted to have sex with him … what they had had was perfect and it seemed to suit Robbie too. He looked in the mirror and found himself smiling … it was a feeling he wasn’t used to.

He wanted to share. He didn’t know anyone who would be able to keep the secret or would be interested, yes he did! He wrapped his bathrobe around him after his shower and while waiting for the coffee to brew he picked up his phone.

“Maggie? Hello, it’s James, James Hathaway … yes, fine thanks, and you, and Rose? Listen … I don’t know how to say this but remember what you said to me about Robbie? Well, it’s happened. No, not that far, but I think I can say we are lovers now. We just spent the night together and …yes, I did … I just had to tell someone … and you are it. I love you too, Maggie. Thanks. Yes, I know. Thanks again… Love to Rose. Sure thing, when we are free.” He put the phone down. Maggie was delighted for them with not a hint of jealousy, despite the incident on the riverbank. He was so happy. He didn’t know what to do … go to work! That is what he had to do!

He rushed into the bedroom and for the first time in his life he got dressed with very little regard to what he put on.

In the office Robbie looked up over his computer and barked “What time do you call this, Sergeant?” and James had a job to keep a straight face.

“Sorry, Sir, bad traffic on the London road – should I get some coffee?” Lewis grinned at him and nodded

“Then get your arse back in here. We would appear to be having a series of murders.”

And that was how it became. The only people who knew about their “arrangement” were Maggie and Rose. They spent nights together when they could and took things very quietly. To be honest, the closeness of another human being was enough at the start.

James started to feel the need for more intimacy before Robbie did. He wondered sometimes if Robbie were just humouring him and then realised for a straight man to do that would be unthinkable.

The girls threw a barbecue party for them and it was fun. They could be themselves and hold hands or indulge in a spot of snogging without embarrassment in front of Maggie and Rose. When they came home to Robbie’s, slightly the worse for wear, James prepared them cocktails and steered them to the bedroom.

That night they indulged a little more, stroking each other intimately. James cupped Robbie’s balls in his hand and closed his eyes – it was now or never that he was going to condemn himself to Hell and he had committed himself. It felt good. Robbie groaned a little and moved to nestle himself closer into James’ hand then reached across and did the same, feeling the younger man’s balls tighten under his touch.

Lying on their sides, they gently fondled and grasped, eventually bringing each other off while kissing madly, tongues clashing like battling dragons. Then they collapsed onto each other’s shoulders, spent and shocked at the passion they’d shown, being that neither one of them considered that he was gay.


End file.
